there’s a riot in the citay
there’s a riot in my head
there’s looting on the screen now
makes me want to curl up in bed
Instead I plant
flowers and chants
good deeds over rants
prayers morph the I can’ts
what do I know
Bmore youth stow
stigma to overthrow
melting pots blow
do gooders stalk
there’s a healing in the citay
there’s a healing in my head
there’s connection on the video
there’s hope instead of dread.
May 11, 2014
Mother Bird, Mother Bird
I see you on the tree.
Mother Bird, Mother Bird.
Are you listening to Me?
I am Mothering myself this year.
It’s been a long, cold, relentless Winter. And I’ve been on a journey, searching. Searching for something nameless. Searching each someone, for something, something……
I looked all around. In books, tapes, groups, community, religion, family, in the faces of children, in service, in substances, but that evasive something wasn’t there.
Traveling through the Winter of My Life, I survived metaphoric scalding days, torrential downpours, lightening, thunder, tsunamis, volcanoes, flooding, blizzards, frozen steep mountains. I’ve traveled far, far out of my comfort zone.
It was the earthquake that revealed the Something. The walls shattered my locked down heart and Something was revealed. What I yearned for wasn’t out there because the someone or something was my personal meaning and purpose. The Someone was me. The Something was my true thoughts and feelings.
I journeyed, and I found My Self. I found Myself. I found the Real Me. The Real Me lives inside my carefully concocted me.
Not until I traveled could I make peace with that which I feared the most: my tears, my pain, my anger, my shame. Not until I learned to acknowledge the younger parts of myself could I be here to listen, to hear, to understand, to accept, embrace, and nurture myself. Not until I became my own provider, protector, and lover could I see others independently, without the projections I had always cast clouding relationships.
Not until I journeyed and journeyed and journeyed within, did I begin to get to know myself. It’s been a difficult journey and one well worth taking.
I gratefully see signs of Spring.
Getting ready to “LAUNCH” the message……Ladies, how do you fill your cup? How do you take care of yourself so you can take care of others?
The Big Ahavas Yisrael Women’s Project Event is fast approaching and I am praying that G-d blesses our efforts to decrease the distance between his children.
Please G-d, let the Loving Inner Parent speak kindly to all.
Please G-d, let us see how we have so much more in common than that which divides us.
Please G-d, let us learn to nurture Ourselves, so that our Cups are Full to Overflowing, so we can pour and pour and serve and serve your children with big smiles and full hearts and the joy that can only come from being other centered.
Let these and all the other Self-Nurturance messages be received in open hearts.
Please G-d, one interaction at a time, let us merit to see real change in our homes, and in our community and in the world.
The time is now. Join us!
Liberty/Greespring Jewish Center Sunday, January 13, 2013 7-9pm
Show up. Make the effort. Learn some new tricks. Try them out.
You’re worth it.
So, you asked.
So I’ll tell ya!
Here is a list of some of the NEW things I did in 2012:
PLEASE NOTE: Tack on “for the first time ever” to the end of every line!
Started running for the first time in my life
Ran first 5K
Started growing hair on my head for the first time in over 9 years. (Don’t ask!)
First respite at beach in years
First trip without children (ALONE) in 19 years
Ran first 8K!!
Learned how to tie scarves and started creatively dressing daily
Got really, really angry
Got really, really sad
Truly forgave another human being
Began a serious recovery effort through 12 step programs
Sought out people I had harmed and made amends
Reunited with emotionally estranged sibling ( Love you, Molli!!)
Called my Father (first the first time ever-yup, applies here, too)
Attended First SIA Retreat
Learned to hear the symphony inherent in nature
New fitness modality: KettleBelling
New fitness modality: Crossfitting
New fitness modality: Body Combat
New fitness modality: Running indoors on Treadmill
New fitness modality: Spinning
Went to a rock concert in another state (hey, hey, Carole!)
Started a baking company (MrsBsHealthyBakedGoodies.com)
Made a web site with help from my stepson Zephan and the Dummy books
Made another website. You are on it now!
Began meditating regularly
Confronted childhood molester. (Released enmeshment, GREW UP)
Went horseback riding!
Did a headstand!!
Went back to schoo! (Yoga Teacher Training)
What are you doing to grow?
What’s new and different in your life?
What did you do in 2012 that made you stronger and healthier?
I really hope to hear from you. I’d really like to know!